I'm so down.. god bless my broken road

I understand what it takes to get hurt, but again and again it seems that i welcome it no matter how i keep telling myself to fight and face it heads up...but i was wondering how am i going to do that?? Thinking way past, it seems that i have been crying all the while, every time i get an opening of becoming free and happy again, there he comes stirring up my life again making promises, giving me false hopes. I just never learn...i ignore my friends advices not that they're wrong but the fact that if i do listen, its myself that i will betray only to welcome again another painful truth. I question my self why things like this happens to me? Life is mocking me like i have sinned like no other. I just want to be happy but all i got is rejection and misery. Was it wrong that I only fell for a single person let alone that person was my ultimate pain that i can never give up? I never felt so alone in my life right now. I'm tired, helpless but i'm so desperate, all i am after is to be happy. Writing this and reading it as if it wasn't me makes me hate the character. It was wrong i know, but i also realize that loving and hurting is two contradicting affection but one can never understand love unless never hurt. I want to move on, start anew and still hoping that one day he will come back? Every long lost dreams, every painful deceptions, every shattered memories, every broken promises leads me to this narrow way. Still he's like a guiding star that i follow a dark bumpy way. I don't know what awaits me in the end so i just pray to God, please bless my broken road.

Back and Here to Stay

Hello blogworld! It's been a while since i'm back to post to the world. I'm back with a new perspective in life. No more emo moments hehehe... I am here.. and i'm here to stay!

Happy Halloween folks!!!

Hard Habit to Break...

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Sounds familiar? hmmm..maybe yes or maybe not but one thing is for sure, i can't believe myself listening to this song by "chicago" lately which i hardly knew ever existed before. I'm kinda mellow dramatic these days and torturing myself listening to our songs and those sad sad songs...geeze.. i'm girl!!!.

I think it's true when someone is inlove they tend to listen to love songs etcetera, etcetera but when someone is broken hearted well what do you expect? (i'm in the later staTe by the way =)) To wallow is definitely the only option, perhaps boxes of tissue, crying times at night, bulging eyes for several days, shopping for nothing, ice cream to mellow the mood so on and so forth... oh and did i mention that it's the best way to lose weight? I had an irregular schedule at the gym for weeks (sweat out my frustrations)! *lol* Damn!, despite of those stupidity being done but not forgotten by yours truly, still at the end of the day i can't help but miss that jerk and think of those "moments" then wish for the could've been and could've been not....

Anyhow, i've had my fair share about love but well, no matter what past is past and my life must go on with or without him!